And I wonder

Just when I think I know it all, I don't lol. Yeah things happen and changes are sometimes made at a moments notice. That won't stop me though. I am used to change. Heck I went to 3 different elementary schools, 2 middle schools, and live in two extremely different states within the span on 5 years. I've seen the results of change. They could go either way. Its all about how u look at it. I look at change as, supposed to. Huh? supposed to? Yea supposed to... Change is a part of life. Things are supposed to change.  Could u imagine if everything in your life was always the same? That would suck.  Well at any rate, I embrace and adapt to change. I see it everyday in my career too. 


On a completely unrelated note. I wonder what's up with some of the people in my life. Everyone I call a friend is someone I admire and pull from. They all have something in common. They all accept Rob for Rob. The nerdy, cool, loving, caring, friendly, intelligent, determined, and always good for a laugh Rob. I love that, and for that reason Ima always be me. There is a reason why i am accepted in so many different circles. There is a reason why I go through some of the things I go through. There is a reason why it isn't always easy being "me". Its because anything worth having in life must me worked on and worked for. Therefore I refuse to let change or unfavorable circumstance change that universally loved "me" into someone else. Ima just tuck my head and run through it all and enjoy the sunshine at the end of my journey.




Peace, Love, and Certainty 


Be easy ya'll Love Life.

Vroom Vroom!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So if u know me well, u know i've wanted a motorcycle for a while now. Its been a tough decision, but i think ima go with a GSXR-750 out the gate if I can't find a deal on a FZ6R Yamaha. Bikes just seem so wild and free. They are the modern day horses on the road. I will ride my stallion off into the sunset with the wind on my scalp lol. As for those who don't want me to get a bike, sorry. No disrespect, but its my life and this is something I want. Yeah I know they are dangerous and people die on motorcycles and all that. I have given that serious thought and have accepted the risks. I do promise to wear protective gear in order to help protect myself. Sometimes life just pulls you towards that 1 extreme. This is mine. 


Vroom Vroom.

A love letter.....

I've never  met anyone like you before. Seriously. Nah i'm being real with you right now. I met when I was a child. I got to know you in high school. I fell in love with you as the years past. You have always been there for me no mater what. When I am up and on top of the world, you were there. When I am down and unsure of the future, you are there. Ever since we've me you've been by my side. There have been times when i've had to leave you alone because I became too attached. I couldn't handle the emotions that came with dealing with you. Even now your here with me on this sleepless night. Soothing me, easing my pain, putting my mind at ease. Telling me it will be ok. Telling me that I can do anything I put my mind to. Daring me to attempt the impossible. Encouraging me to follow my dreams. *Sigh* I will never leave you. You are always true to me. Always open honest and straight to the point. I wish I could have you to myself, but I know I can't. I understand why I have to share you. One person can't keep you to themselves. Das kool with me though. I keep you around all the time and our relationship is truly unique because I am just that different. I am going to begin a new journey with you. I am going to revisit our relationship. I am going to dedicate myself to you in order to fulfill a selfish need I have. This is just another reason why I love you. You let me use you as I see fit, trusting me to do the right thing, as I shall. 


I love you music. I am not afraid to say it and show it. I will always love you, because I know that you love me too.


Tranquility, Love, and awareness ya'll


P.S.
I will be writing you again soon. We will be together again soon. This time we will create a new, yet familiar sound together. Hopefully it will serve as a personal reminder of my natural talent and poetic spirit. 

I don't have all the answers. I'm ok with that too.

Just reflecting on some things that have happened in my life. I am blessed to even be alive, free, educated, and employed. Something has always been there to kinda I guess stop me from falling flat on my face. Seriously. I remember being home alone making toast one time, was like in elementary school, and trying to dig in the toaster with completely silver knife in order to spread some butter on the toast. The toaster was on and read hot. I remember the sparks shooting off of the tip of the knife. Honestly, I believe under normal circumstances I should have been electrocuted. Yet, I wasn't. I remember almost drowning in the back yard as a child and my older brother jumping in after me just in the nick of time. I remember having a massive headache. To young to even know what a dosage was. Hell I couldn't even read that word. All I knew was that you took this lil pills to get rid of the pain. I popped like 3 or 4 of them. Not sure how safe that was, but as a grown man I would even do that. Ummm yeah my brushes with certain death or serious injury have all been prevented. I am not invincible, nor do I have special powers. I am just blessed. That is the conclusion that I have come to.  I remember my first year in high school. These five seniors, ok they was some big dudes, pulled me into a corner in the courtyard. One of them gave me a brown bag and wanted me to walk it across the yard and give it to somebody. He didn't exactly ask either. What was in the bag? I have no idea. I was scared, but I thought to myself, walk this across the yard and get beat down. I took one step with the bag and one of the dudes said. " Nah yo he a young bol." He took the pack out my hand and told me to just leave. Don't know what made him step up and say something, but i'm glad he did. Once again I was saved. I just thank God for getting me this far.  Fall of 2009 trying to finish the last semester of school. Student teaching and loving it. One weekend I was headed to da metro wit my boy. Slick road and rainy conditions. Traffic was thick and we were at a complete stand still. As we sat still holding a conversation, my boy looks in the rearview and says one word. I tried to turn to see what he was looking at. Next thing I know my face is slamming against the dashboard. We just got smashed by another car. That car had to be doing bout 50mph. It caused 3 cars to be totaled. Anything could have happened to me as a result. Once again here I am. 


Sorry not strong enough to keep writing this right now. To be continued......


Peace, love, and joy to you all

It Feels Right to be With Her

August 28, 2011 marked a day when something new and life changing happened to me. A fellow classmate reached out with interest in my career. Nice, cool, and clean conversation. Then I began to say to myself, she's beautiful, successful, and obviously sees something in you. With that in mind, I made my move. 

Nervous? kinda. Never thought such a rare beauty could possibly be single. It was also out of my natural element to just be so forward. Just one of the many changes i've made over the years. She accepted and then it began

Conversation..... Refreshing, Real, Intelligent, Free, Honest, Open, Always Natural.

It's been years since I could honestly and truthfully hold consistently interesting conversations with a woman I am interested in. She ends up usually just fading and I get bored. They just couldn't hang. Her on the other hand.... well the sub-heading sums it up. I can talk to her for hours at a time and its never forced, dull, or mundane. I get that little tingly feeling on the inside when my phone rings and I see her picture on the screen. I automatically know that her sweet angelic voice with be a comfort to me.

Understanding.

You ever talk to someone that listens to you? Have you ever talked to someone that hears you? Have you ever talked to someone that takes what u say into consideration and actually attributes it to your personality? You ever talked to someone who accepted you for who you are? Have you ever talked to someone willing to say " Let's do this together and see what happens." In other words take a chance on you? I have and she's my girlfriend. Better yet she is the woman in my life.

Really?....?

Yeah really. She was down yo, like for real. 2 months of full blown conversation and look at this. She was right next to me. Usually apprehension prevents people from being together, myself included. For some reason, GOD I believe, apprehension was completely absent in our situation. Yeah. Now ima tell ya, I ain't gonna be putting all my relationship stuff on this blog, that's for me and her. However, i might hint at some tidbits lol. 

Final Thoughts....

Live Life. Love Life. I am just a man in search of his future by learning from my past........ Yeah think about that. I embrace opportunities, observe mistakes, adjust my life, and continue to move forward. 

Until the next time yall,

Peace, Love, and Joy to you all

Next Step

I feel like a new man. My life is very different now. Things have changed, and I have adjusted accordingly. Where am I now? Who knows lol lol lol. The beautiful and exciting feeling of the unknown. Yeah, things have changed, but my place is still the same. I love not knowing every single calculated step in my life. I just live and look forward to the next day. What I want outta life is still the same, success in short. I love myself. No seriously, I love myself. I love all of my imperfections, and I take care of myself. Been exercising lately as a part of bettering myself. Apartment is always nice and clean, I mean almost womanly clean lol. I am seeing more and more each day what life is about for me. Change and adaptations. Stop complaining about what's wrong and what you want. Instead, embrace your short comings, analyze them and then ask yourself, " What can I do to change this?" Now, the hard part, actually doing something about it. LOL LOL. I been nice and fluffy and flabby for a long time, yet i didn't care. Honestly I don't care now. Yet I know that eventually I wanted to lose the flab and get in better shape. I don't have to get all ripped and muscled out, just in shape. So, one day I looked at myself and said, " Yo time to lose this weight.". Then I found a work out plan just for me. Got some advice from friends, and went at it. I do a light workout about 3 days a week and jog, or attempt to jog, 1 mile 3 days a week. BAM!!!!! Even more important that starting this is finishing this. I don't wanna just start, lose weight, and then stop. I want my healthy ways to become a part of my lifestyle. That's definitely some grown up stuff for ya. Lifestyle changes are extremely important to me. It is something that I started about 2 months ago. I am done with temporary improvements. Why not improve and continue to improve instead of just saying  " Hey all better, guess i'm done with that." . Yeah that applies to some things, but not all things. The next step is whatever you want it to be. Always remember that change is possible, all you have to do is act on it. 


Peace, love, and success.

The Reality Of It.

I express myself in various ways. Sometimes it's clear and sometimes it's unclear. Yet for some reason I always receive some type of reaction. As of late, I have been expressing myself loud and clear. Guess what?!?!?!? Someone responded. I expressed myself via my profession. Someone took notice. A question was asked, and a conversation began. To my surprise and delight the conversation continued. Now here we are months later " feeling some type of way.". Everything is everything. I like the way she makes me feel. I like the fact that I can call and or text her knowing I will get a response. I like the fact that we care about what goes on in each others lives. That is hard to find these days. We not rushing anything, and we are not saying we are meant to be, or dating, or even that we are going to date/be together. We are just enjoying each other. I can speak for myself in saying I really like her. This is a different type of like. My eyes have been opened to a lot of things as of late. It seems as though my own evolution is continuous and I love that about myself. So when I look at her I say, " I wonder how long she can put up with me? I wonder if she can keep up with a man like me? Ok, can I keep up with her? Is she what I want?" From what I see and what I know, YES. What happens next who knows. Just taking it one day at a time. 


P.S.
Doesn't hurt that she's sexy either. She's also got a sense of humor. She also..... ok let me end this before I begin to carry on too much.

It's That Real

Feelings, thoughts, hopes, dreams and fantasies. They all feel so real. You ever get caught up in any of these things? Is there anything wrong with that? Escaping reality for your own place of freedom and security. Hoping, wishing, dreaming, feeling, and fantasizing while the rest of the world deals with reality. We are all of guilty of this. We all have our getaways. Sometimes I forget that reality exists. My perception of reality is my own reality. My reality is what I decide it is. Yeah, that's what it is. I understand that there are things that are real. Reality in itself is a perception of what we all have created. Each person's reality is different, in a sense. I am in control of what's real in my life, just like your in control of what's real in your life. Take advantage of that. Control your reality. My reality is perfect. I enjoy the ups, downs, and surprises that arise. I am in control.

To be seen for the first time.

This is just me being real about a situation. Nobody has ever looked at me the way you have. You viewed me with your very being and you saw the man that I am without any doubts or apprehension. For the first time in my life I feel like someone looked at me and actually saw me. I know i'm in left field right now, but u probably right here with me. I can see the smile on your face as you read this. :). Thank you for being the woman you are. As usually timing and life have a way of showing you what you want, but that doesn't mean it's time for you to have it. You make me feel some type of way. 


The funny thing is I see you too. I look at you the exact same way you look at me. I see you. More than that I feel you too. That's a feeling I wanna get used to. I can't help but wonder what if. You know? You said a lot of things to me and you also assured me of a lot of things too. I believe you. You don't have a reason to lie to me or to hurt me so why shouldn't I. 


I am glad you are a part of my life. People like you are rarer than anything I can honestly think of right now. Your the touch I needed, your the beat that I wanna write my lyrics to, your the dose of reality that I can't get anywhere else, your the physical manifestation of my thoughts when i'm alone and in deep thinking, you are that painting that completes a room in a house, you are that cool breeze that creates a perfect day, you are the inspirations for my artistic thoughts on nights like this. 


You will always have a place in my heart because of what you have shown me about myself. I just wanted to dedicate this to you. This is how I feel and how I wanted to express it to you. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder.... Ohhhh!!!!! Nah but for real my sis told me that you can't set boundaries on what you want and how you feel. Only time will tell what happens next. 


I am visable........

A Woman's Touch

You ever had a moment where you just needed someone next to you? Not in a " I'm lonely type of way", I mean like to feel the energy of another next to you. Just to feel the warmth and comfort...... It's such a soothing feeling. It's not a physical thing all the time. It is also mentally soothing for me. It just brings me down sometimes. I can forget about stress, problems, and other BS. The touch of a woman is something that can't be replaced, replicated, or imitated. If I could have that feeling all day, I would definitely be in a constant state of calm and reassurance. The funny thing is that every touch is different, I am curious to see how many different feelings that I will experience in my life. I just get a vibe, a feeling, a magnetic attraction that beckons me. As of late I just been wanting a new touch, a new feeling. Maybe i'm crazy, or maybe I am just in my own world who knows and who cares. I wonder when I will feel my next touch? How will she make me feel? Women are precious in so many ways that I can't count. I just wish more of them realized how precious they actually are. There's nothing like a woman's touch.

Thoughts about the truth.

This is just coming from a place inside of me that I usually keep to myself. You make me smile like no one has in a very long time. We made a connection that is rare and strange. The kind that is so right, so perfect, that it's scary. Yet we never ran from it. We never kept how we felt a secret from each other. If only we could be together. If only we were at the same point in our lives. Making a decision like the one we did was tough. Too tough. It was definetly a decision that had to be made. End it all before we go to far or get too attached, knowing that we are worlds apart, or living with the reality that we live in two very different worlds yet we share common ground that is rarely found between two people. Can we honsesly just be friends? Get used to the idea that we could be with " someone else" will we ever truely be ok with that? I hate the fact that these questions will be bouncing around in my head for a very long time. What's even worse is that I can't answer any of them. If nothing else becomes of us or even if we were to completely part ways, you showed me something that I forgot. Beautiful, intellegent, understanding, respectable, ambicious, sensual, and free spirited women still exist. I found one. I truely believe I found one. Is she the one for me, or is she just a reminder of what i've been looking for and the proof that it still exists? Once again my mind is riddled with ideas, thoughts, and questions that pull me into a place of discomfort and personal reflections.

The heart, does it have a mind of its own?

          My heart is a part of me, yet its a separate entity. It has a way of controlling me sometimes. It overrides my mind, and pushes my logic and reason to the side at times. I wonder why that is? It's crazy, scary, and exciting. The term "follow your heart" holds a lot of meaning to me. It has help guide me down the path that I am on today. I don't always follow my heart though. At times it's out of fear and uncertainty, and other times I am just denying my feelings. I hate fighting with my heart. Those are some draining arguments. 

          You have to be careful with your heart though. It is an extremely strong muscle, yet it can easily be harmed or even broke. I have a big heart that is divided into sections that I share with my loved ones. However, I do have a special section that is reserved for that " special lady" to be. Sometimes it gets anxious and wants me to jump into situations just for the sake of " feeling good" or  "filling an empty space. I know better. I know that I must protect my heart, yet still be willing to leave it open to possibilities. This is a delicate process that I learn more about every day. 

Peace everybody.

Missing

I can't forget about it. I can't just let it go. It's a part of my life that I must revisit. I am excited and anxious as well. Don't ever think that because something is a part of your past that u can't revisit. This doesn't apply to everything though. Sometimes I just sit and wonder, how or why I ended up where I am right now. Being ahead of my years is a daily struggle. Not may people can keep up with me. Some just comprehend my intellect, nor do they try to understand my train of thought. Ok back on topic. I miss Philly in a way that is almost bothersome. A simple visit won't suffice. I need to spend some serious time there. I just left so many people and so many things behind, and I feel like I need to tie up some loose ends. This is something that has been on my mind for years. I am deeply rooted where I am located now, so how can I solve this problem? Until I come up with a solution, guess I gotta accept the fact that now isn't the time.


Peace.

New Mentality

When is the last time you took time out for yourself just to think? Not just about last night or last week, but your entire life. Have you measured how much you have grown from childhood up until now? Or even from a year or 2 ago until now? We all need to step back sometimes and check out progression in life. Time will fly by and you will be in the same place you were years ago if you don't stop, think, and reflect. I often find myself deep in thought about what I can do to get one step closer to my dreams in life. I am truly reaching for the stars, and sometimes I forget to put on my space suit. Then I start to choke because I have no air. I take the suit off because I can move faster without the weight, yet I can't survive without it. Every now and again I try to fly without the added weight, then I remember how important it is to be patient. Sometimes we need a little weight on our backs to slow us down, so that we don't rush into things. Even thought it weighs us down, we can still keep on moving. 


Love and peace ya'll

Breath Of Fresh Air

Regaining a relationship that you once thought was lost forever is like a breath of fresh air. Today was that day for me. This is only the beginning though. I appreciate, value, and honor the people in my life that support me and what I am trying to accomplish in life. When you have people like this in your life, hold tight and don't let them go. You may have disagreements and contemplate the old " cut-off" move, but think twice. True friendship is hard to come by these days. Have you talked to your friends lately? If not, why not? Pick up the phone and call. Reconnect and enjoy each other's company and thoughts. Cherish the laughter, tears, and the love that you share with each other. Let your friends know that you love them. In case you are reading this..... I love you. Thank you for being you and for helping me be me by accepting me for who I am. :)