I don't have all the answers. I'm ok with that too.

Just reflecting on some things that have happened in my life. I am blessed to even be alive, free, educated, and employed. Something has always been there to kinda I guess stop me from falling flat on my face. Seriously. I remember being home alone making toast one time, was like in elementary school, and trying to dig in the toaster with completely silver knife in order to spread some butter on the toast. The toaster was on and read hot. I remember the sparks shooting off of the tip of the knife. Honestly, I believe under normal circumstances I should have been electrocuted. Yet, I wasn't. I remember almost drowning in the back yard as a child and my older brother jumping in after me just in the nick of time. I remember having a massive headache. To young to even know what a dosage was. Hell I couldn't even read that word. All I knew was that you took this lil pills to get rid of the pain. I popped like 3 or 4 of them. Not sure how safe that was, but as a grown man I would even do that. Ummm yeah my brushes with certain death or serious injury have all been prevented. I am not invincible, nor do I have special powers. I am just blessed. That is the conclusion that I have come to.  I remember my first year in high school. These five seniors, ok they was some big dudes, pulled me into a corner in the courtyard. One of them gave me a brown bag and wanted me to walk it across the yard and give it to somebody. He didn't exactly ask either. What was in the bag? I have no idea. I was scared, but I thought to myself, walk this across the yard and get beat down. I took one step with the bag and one of the dudes said. " Nah yo he a young bol." He took the pack out my hand and told me to just leave. Don't know what made him step up and say something, but i'm glad he did. Once again I was saved. I just thank God for getting me this far.  Fall of 2009 trying to finish the last semester of school. Student teaching and loving it. One weekend I was headed to da metro wit my boy. Slick road and rainy conditions. Traffic was thick and we were at a complete stand still. As we sat still holding a conversation, my boy looks in the rearview and says one word. I tried to turn to see what he was looking at. Next thing I know my face is slamming against the dashboard. We just got smashed by another car. That car had to be doing bout 50mph. It caused 3 cars to be totaled. Anything could have happened to me as a result. Once again here I am. 


Sorry not strong enough to keep writing this right now. To be continued......


Peace, love, and joy to you all

It Feels Right to be With Her

August 28, 2011 marked a day when something new and life changing happened to me. A fellow classmate reached out with interest in my career. Nice, cool, and clean conversation. Then I began to say to myself, she's beautiful, successful, and obviously sees something in you. With that in mind, I made my move. 

Nervous? kinda. Never thought such a rare beauty could possibly be single. It was also out of my natural element to just be so forward. Just one of the many changes i've made over the years. She accepted and then it began

Conversation..... Refreshing, Real, Intelligent, Free, Honest, Open, Always Natural.

It's been years since I could honestly and truthfully hold consistently interesting conversations with a woman I am interested in. She ends up usually just fading and I get bored. They just couldn't hang. Her on the other hand.... well the sub-heading sums it up. I can talk to her for hours at a time and its never forced, dull, or mundane. I get that little tingly feeling on the inside when my phone rings and I see her picture on the screen. I automatically know that her sweet angelic voice with be a comfort to me.

Understanding.

You ever talk to someone that listens to you? Have you ever talked to someone that hears you? Have you ever talked to someone that takes what u say into consideration and actually attributes it to your personality? You ever talked to someone who accepted you for who you are? Have you ever talked to someone willing to say " Let's do this together and see what happens." In other words take a chance on you? I have and she's my girlfriend. Better yet she is the woman in my life.

Really?....?

Yeah really. She was down yo, like for real. 2 months of full blown conversation and look at this. She was right next to me. Usually apprehension prevents people from being together, myself included. For some reason, GOD I believe, apprehension was completely absent in our situation. Yeah. Now ima tell ya, I ain't gonna be putting all my relationship stuff on this blog, that's for me and her. However, i might hint at some tidbits lol. 

Final Thoughts....

Live Life. Love Life. I am just a man in search of his future by learning from my past........ Yeah think about that. I embrace opportunities, observe mistakes, adjust my life, and continue to move forward. 

Until the next time yall,

Peace, Love, and Joy to you all

Next Step

I feel like a new man. My life is very different now. Things have changed, and I have adjusted accordingly. Where am I now? Who knows lol lol lol. The beautiful and exciting feeling of the unknown. Yeah, things have changed, but my place is still the same. I love not knowing every single calculated step in my life. I just live and look forward to the next day. What I want outta life is still the same, success in short. I love myself. No seriously, I love myself. I love all of my imperfections, and I take care of myself. Been exercising lately as a part of bettering myself. Apartment is always nice and clean, I mean almost womanly clean lol. I am seeing more and more each day what life is about for me. Change and adaptations. Stop complaining about what's wrong and what you want. Instead, embrace your short comings, analyze them and then ask yourself, " What can I do to change this?" Now, the hard part, actually doing something about it. LOL LOL. I been nice and fluffy and flabby for a long time, yet i didn't care. Honestly I don't care now. Yet I know that eventually I wanted to lose the flab and get in better shape. I don't have to get all ripped and muscled out, just in shape. So, one day I looked at myself and said, " Yo time to lose this weight.". Then I found a work out plan just for me. Got some advice from friends, and went at it. I do a light workout about 3 days a week and jog, or attempt to jog, 1 mile 3 days a week. BAM!!!!! Even more important that starting this is finishing this. I don't wanna just start, lose weight, and then stop. I want my healthy ways to become a part of my lifestyle. That's definitely some grown up stuff for ya. Lifestyle changes are extremely important to me. It is something that I started about 2 months ago. I am done with temporary improvements. Why not improve and continue to improve instead of just saying  " Hey all better, guess i'm done with that." . Yeah that applies to some things, but not all things. The next step is whatever you want it to be. Always remember that change is possible, all you have to do is act on it. 


Peace, love, and success.