ADULTING!!!!!!

     Well, sorry for the leave of absence, but I'm back now. A lot has happened in the 3 years I have been away lol. I crossed a line, fell in love, started 2 businesses, lost some loved ones, and discovered much more about myself...... Yeah I will write all about that later. Yep all of it!!! As for now, I am adulting!!!
    What's adulting you say? Well uhhh... being an adult. Dealing with grown up situations in life. You know bills, responsibilities, adjusting to changes, planning a future, and making the most out of life. It is extremely difficult, stressful, and fun lol. Prime example, it has been 3 years since I have written on this blog. Why? ADULTING! I will say this however, the sooner you decide to start adulting, the easier it becomes. 
     Adulting is extremely important. You learn to let go of childish things, negative influences, and the things that hold you back as a person. You really start to live and experience new things in life. You start to find out who you are. I mean really find out. How? Isolation.. There are going to be times where it's just you. Alone. Stuck with yourself. Sounds depressing right? Well, it is! However, remember you choose what you want to do with that time. As for myself, I learned to love myself. I learned more about my habits, needs, wants, and deepest desires. No outside influences, just me and my thoughts. Sheesh that was a long hard road, but I am glad I took the journey.
     As a result of this, I am different. Some things are the same, but overall I am a very different person. I want a family, a big house, a huge garage for my cars and motorcycles. I want to run successful businesses. I want financial security. I want to create and maintain a comfortable lifestyle for myself and my family. So now I have to work for it. That's the reality of it. If you want it you have to work for it. Plain and simple.
      Ok enough adulting blog sheesh. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Thanks for reading all of the older blogs as well. I will try to add this to my adult schedule so that I write at least once or twice a month. Ugh committing to things is so adult. LOL see  you next time.

I'm Awake

I'm Awake

I swear I don’t even realize when I am sleeping sometimes. Not that laid out under those nice warm covers sleeping, but the “ohh crap I didn’t realize this was going on!” type of sleeping. Translation- Lack of attention and or focus on someone or something. Yep, guilty as charged for real. There were quite a few things I must admit I was sleeping on, one being myself and my own potential. I am just happy that I woke up. I opened my eyes, took a long stretch, let out a nice yawn and hopped to my feet. I am up! That was the hard part. Accepting the fact that you lack something you know you shouldn’t yet it’s your own fault…. -___- yeah that sucks. Fortunately, I am a believer in truth and responsibility. I own this short coming of mine. Now what shall I do about this. I have heared quite recently from a few different people that life isn’t about what happens to you its about what you do when life happens to you, or something like that. Like what action do you take when things fall apart? Do you bounce back? Give up? Complain? Remain nonchalant? Reflect? Adjust? Move on? Get help? Yeah I had to think about this while being honest with myself. I have learned through many problems in my life that there are always multiple solutions, however all solutions aren’t the right solutions. I have learned to think, reflect, plan, and then act. This has brought me great inner peace and a greater respect for life and all of the wonderful things it has to offer. Man, I am so happy that I woke up

Are you awake?

Love, Peace, Live, Love, Life. 

The Word Man

Words are powerful tools. They bring about feelings and results. They make history. They have a lasting effect. They can remain hundreds or even thousands of years after you are gone. Words are eternal. Once they are spoken they can't be unspoken. What's done is done when it comes down to it. You can try to fix it with new words, but the old words will forever remain.

The Destroyer!!!!!! That was my nickname for myself at one point in my life. When I discovered the power of words some years ago, I tended to use them as tools of destruction. Not on the intent of malice or ill will, but as a tool of defense. My words were a way of letting people know exactly how I felt at that moment in time. I had no regard for the circumstances, or any other variable and that's what made my words capable of destruction. I flat out didn't care! Some people to this day are still recovering from things that I've said to them, others have recovered, and the rest have chosen to stay away completely. I have learned to not use my words in such a way anymore. I am no longer the destroyer.

The Healer!!!!!!! I guess in a way after causing much destruction, I subconsciously needed to right my wrongs, rebuild the fallen structures that I have destroyed and use the power of words for good. Therefore, I revisited my demolition sites and began rebuilding them. Apologies, explanations, responsibility for my actions, consideration, and other forms of words were woven together strong enough to create new foundations for these structures to stand on. Although the destruction still left scars and marks on the new formation that had come to be, they weren't enough to overcome the beauty of the new structure. 

The Truth!!!!!!!!!!! The truth and the destroyer are twins with a twist. The truth tends to remodel rather than to tear down. It is a strong lover and wants to encourage improvement through honesty. A vast difference between his brother and he is that he takes everything into account, then delivers an honest and real observation. He also makes sure he has permission before doing so because he knows that he can truly hurt sometimes. Most of the time, truth does an excellent job of remodeling. The project may be grueling and take months or even years to finish, but in the end the new results are astonishing. 

I have played each one of these parts in my life. Names I gave myself because of the way I used my words. Today I am a new name. I have been this name for a while and I love this one the most. I wouldn't mind staying here for the rest of  my life.

The Artist!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am an artist of words. I form and craft my words to generate meaning beyond normal understanding that penetrates the mind and forces one to actually think. The best part about being the artist is that I am free. He is the most balanced of all the names and has the ability to use and combine each name to form endless possibilities. In short, he, not me as a person, is almost perfect. He is everything. He can make you love him, hate him, forgive him, do for him, and most importantly trust him. The artist's work will always speak to his observers and listeners; therefore he must always know that who he is underneath it all will always show through. I am an excellent artist of truth and understanding. It is the style I find myself using the most.



Overstand me. 

Love, Peace, Health, Happiness, Joy, Understanding, and LIFE......

See you in 2013

Continue Enjoying my thoughts and digesting my expressions. 

A Question of Life and the People In it.

They say you meet people for a reason. Some stay only for a season, while others stay around forever. In the end, they say each of these encounters should leave each person with some kind of effect. You should "Get or learn something from each other. I've crossed paths with many people in my short, in my eyes lengthy, time on this earth. Young, old, male, female, some still around, and most gone. 

   What I really want to get into is when you meet someone special. Someone that "Makes you feel some type of way." I must admit I have come across some ladies that have had this effect on me. Some of those feelings lasted a season, some lasted long enough for me to learn more about myself and move on, and some still remain. I find it funny how we say "If only this or that were the case I could make it happen." Before you know it BAM!!!! Here is that time.

     

    As always in life, when you get close to what you, at the time, feel is right or what you want, challenges arise. One thing that I have learned is that the only way to get what you want out of life is to get out there and live. Obstacles have been around forever. What shall you do? Go around it, Go through it, over it, under it, or let it stand in your way? I refuse to let them stand in my way. However, it is not out of the question to think about what will happen once you reach the other side of the obstacle. Will the bruising, pain, hurt, energy, sacrifices, and or challenge of removing the obstacle be worth it? If you are already set and good to go, is it worth upsetting your balance on a chance of something more, or a greater balance?

   Ahhh, That is an idea to ponder. I am a calculated person at times. I tend to follow my heart over "Logic". My feelings tend to get the best of me and I would sleep better without the " What if I had?" question lingering around. Even if the “what if” sets me back and it ends up being the "Wrong Move." I am ok with that because that is what life is all about to me. Live and Learn baby. To each its own. Everyone's situation is different so respect to that yo word.

   All I know is she makes me feel some type of way and I am no longer suppressing my feelings. It is what it is. All due respect to the facts and circumstances, I will be alright no matter how it goes. Though I hope it goes my way ;). This is the second time around and there is no guarantee of a third. So why should I let an obstacle prevent me from pursuing my opportunity. Only time will tell. 

P.S. Got on my DJ grind. I will blog about that soon.

Love, Peace, Life, and Love one more time. 

A New Vision and A New Focus

The title of this blog says a whole lot. Man I have so many things that I want to do right now, but they all conflict with each other. They are all life altering decisions, and some can be done together, and some must be done alone. The ones that do work together just don't seem like the right combination though. Then you have the outside opinions of others. Almost all of them say the same thing.

Hmmm I want to start my own small business, possibly go back to school, work on a type of promotion, or possibly leave the country for a couple of years. Time effort, energy, and money are all factors here. My desires also play a huge role. I want to have a family and all that good stuff. More importantly, I want to be able to support them just like I was supported growing up,or better. All of the things I want to do will help ensure these things.

The question is which do I choose? "Pray, leave it in God's capable hands, let go and let God." Yes I have heard this and I understand and know and respect the good Lord. I have faith. I am only human. I am curious, anxious, and I want to make an effort. I believe that the lord would want me to show him that I truly want what I am asking for. The problem is, I think he wants me to make that choice before I come to him. He has been dropping hints for me, but they lead in all directions. In actuality, I could do all of the things I want. Maybe that is the answer, but I am not sure.

I want to achieve all of my goals, but where do I start? Right now I am searching for funding for starting my business. In a couple of weeks, I will start doing more research on going back to school and possibly leaving the country for a little while. My plan is to pursue whichever opportunity presents itself the best. Until then I am across the wall.

Ahhhhhh feels good to vent to my blog and my bloggers. Thanks for reading. Now I need to establish myy routine of at least 3 blogs a month.

ON A TOTALLY UNRELATED NOTE I GOT P90X AND THE EQUIPMENT FOR IT AT A STEAL!! SO I WILL BE GETTING IN SHAPE TOO LOL.

Peace, Love, and Happiness

Conversation On The Moon

I visited the moon last night and had a conversation with the stars,
They said “We’re tired because we just got back from mars”,
I said “I'm tired too there's a lot to deal with on earth”,
They said “Yeah but at least you know your worth”.

They flew off back to where they came from,
but left me with some advice and then some,
They said “Rob we can tell you are wise beyond your years,
So keep ya circle close and understand that being misunderstood comes with tears,

Head back home and continue to value your own worth,
Because you’re the only one that can cause your own hurt,
You might not understand now but you will soon,
See you next time on top of the moon”.

A Part of me Must go in Order for me to Grow.

     Someone once told me that I am in love with the idea of being in love... Yeah what the heck does that mean right? Well, the thought of being with that special person, being in love, and growing together is a wonderful thought. Creating memories together, starting a family, and supporting each other’s dreams.... I know I am not crazy for wanting this. It just seems to be a figment of my imagination now. When I come close to this dream, things always get in the way. I chalk it up to chance, or the devil being busy, or just one of life's challenges. I continue to reserve my time, effort, and energy for the possibility of love. Yet, I don't have it. I feel like I am climbing an endless mountain. The climate is getting worse, and the air is getting thinner. My life means too much to me to throw it away on a chance, or something that is unsure. Ok this isn't life or death, but you know what I mean.
     I love my sister Tricy. She is like the physical version of my conscience. When I know I need to move in a certain direction, I call her and lay it all out. Once again, she has come through. We just keep it real with each other. What she advised me to do was to focus on what I have and not what I want, or hope for. Not saying give up completely, but focus on what you have control over. She's good. I think I’m start paying her lol lol.
     Back to me. Well,  work, organizations, karate, friendships, and love are always on my mind and splitting my attention. The splitting evens it out so that each area is present, but none can be strengthened because I am worn too thin. Love is in the lead. My schedule is cleared on purpose, and I have invested in other facets relating to my love life. I am making progress, but not as much as I would hope for. Now my other areas of control need my attention. But something must go.
     “Why don’t you do them all?” “Manage your time better.” “Just change your approach.” Blah Blah Blah..... I have heard almost all of it. Now me knowing myself, I tend to go all in when it comes to things. If I am going to in love, that's where my focus and energy will go. If I am focused on money, then the same thing applies. I have a fear... the fear of forgetting love for the sake of my other areas of control. Crazy huh?
     Now, back to the mountain.... I am calling in the chopper.... the emergency crew, and anybody else that can get me off of this mountain. The love mountain has defeated me. I am just tired of being tired. I need a break. Last time I climbed off of this mountain, I almost left it alone completely. I am off this for now. I will try to keep my mind open to the idea, but no more climbing. Next time I try to climb that mountain, I want her to be with me.
     I am strapping on my life jacket and packing my emergency flares. I am heading out to the sea known as my life. Organizations, karate, friendships, and work. It is time to just let love float behind as I attempt to regain control. Love I will miss you, but you are in the way of possible opportunities for me. 
   Well that's just where I am right now. I am going be here for a while and das cool. Just more time for me. This is just me. It doesn't mean I am cutting anyone off or mad or upset, no not at all. I am just taking a chill pill. Sometimes you gotta take a step back and really check yaself. Gut check time for me. I am going to be a little down for a while, but the results will be worth it.


Peace, Love, and Hope to you all.
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